From my first fling in college as a freshman with a senior the week of his graduation, knew I was attracted to older men. I followed that one night stand with a two year relationship which started during my junior year internship in New York City with a bass guitarist ten years older and ended with him moving back to Wisconsin with me to see me graduate and kick his ass out the door after an abusive year following that. I returned a single man to NYC where I met Charles, 15 years older than me while he was on a business trip there from Los Angeles. Months later, I followed him to LA where we enjoyed a fulfilling 4 years until his death to AIDS/HIV. After a brief fling with someone my own age, the table turned and I was the older man.
The love of my life, my last relationship which ended prematurely due to US immigration law, was with CK, 15 years my junior. Throw in a handful, okay, more, of chance meetings with young men spanning the ages of 19 to 29, and half my adult life has been spent dating men much younger than me, and the other half dating men much older than me.
As the junior, my friends never mentioned age difference; as the senior, they do nothing but mock, lecture, scold and encourage me to date men my age in an effort to find sanity and similarity. I tried by dating a pair of 23 year olds at one time. It didn’t work…and I used the result of this experiment to quiet my friends.
I know I am not alone. My friend Raed’s partner talked to me about it recently. His situation is the same, yet opposite. He dated younger, then at his halfway point, he dated older. Go Joel!
So are we the norm or the anomaly? Do I need to see a psychologist to figure out what this is all about? Is there something to Joel’s experience or is it just what it is? I want to hear your stories, as 50 plusses. Who do you date? Who have you dated? What is your dating pattern and have you thought much about it? Challenges, rewards, embarrassments, funny stories…share ‘em if you got ‘em…if you have dated younger or older. Let’s laugh a little and help one other out at the same time!
So…Rick That! C ya!