Kjoy’s Life in the Sr Lane: Surviving my first model photoshoot

Kimberley “Kjoy” Ferren

I recently lost my “pro model-with-hair-and-make-up” shoot virginity. It stung. Actually it hurt like hell at first, but after the initial shock, it was hot, sassy and sexy, honey! Unfortunately this tryst came (pun intended) with hard (for you boys) lessons learned. It made me think – will we ever get it right? Obviously, HELL NO! But I did figure out two things: I’m better than I could ever have imagined I would be in this sink-or-swim Pro-photog situation, and low light (meaning you don’t have a light set) can make almost anyone fabulous!

As with most events in the lgbt world, this shoot started off with drama. I won’t go into the delay details, but let’s just say this: I was supposed to shoot two weeks before event deadline at Glendale’s 818 Club & Lounge. I was to have three models; I got one. I was supposed to have a light and backdrop setup; had none. I was supposed to have wardrobe and lingerie. I had, well, I’ll explain this later. Then my rep decided not to show, too busy working bigger fish in Las Vegas, so I was thrown-off-the-cliff my first shoot!


What did I miss most once I realized all this? A pair of Depends – ’cause I was ready to shit my pants! For a few moments I stood in the bar area in disbelief and wishing for a Mai Tai (they make killer drinks at 818). That changed to confidence and bottled water when I heard the doubt from Elsa, the hostess/potential client. At that point my old publicist get-things-done mentality kicked-in and I scrambled to make it work.

Before I go further I must say this: my model, Mariko Love was perfect. I did get one of the most fabulous hair and make-up men in the San Fernando Valley/LA area THANK GOD/ESS – Jay-Q, master of Jay-Q Artistry. AND our location hostess (and shoot compadre) Elsa, along with her staff, helped me pull off an amazing shoot.

Once the shock wore off, I knew what to do. I had been to the club before so I had ideas for set-ups. I had thrown lingerie, Asian umbrellas, my mom’s vintage short kimono, and pal Alisa’s Chinese wear in the car, just in case (you know like extra tampons, or Xanex), and was thrilled that Mariko read my text and brought sassy, hot clothes and pumps (sorry, I’m a sporty-femme and high-heels weren’t on my radar). I also brought string lights and vintage throws. To make it all work, Jay-Q knew I wanted a 1930′s-to-mod Asian look and was ready. All that was missing were set lights. Elsa’s staff found three flashlights, one that fit perfectly in a microphone stand. Voila: a spotlight. THE SHOOT WAS ON!

As hair and make-up was being done I cased the joint. I truly believe that being an lgbtSr gave me the strength to go for it, and having been around fabulous lgbt designers and set dressers as an entertainment publicist, as well as my lgbt friends (Brian & Rick), I knew I’d pull off some great shots. And being that Jay-Q was young “family” I knew his looks would rock.

When I saw Jay-Q’s hair and make-up on Mariko, both Elsa and I were floored! She looked like a Chinese pin-up right out of the 1930′s, just as I had dreamed. With the lingerie I brought and her spiked HIGH-heeled glimmering “Dorothy” shoes I went to work. Mariko was amazing, and being that I usually shoot on-the-fly with natural light, and with the help of the flashlights and string lights we pulled off 10 set-ups. The original goal was to create a boudoir feeling that spanned time, and with Marikos’s edgy wear, we caught it. Right off I felt in control. I felt, well, professional, an artiste’, that I had arrived. And to top if off, it was the youngins that pooped-out early, not me. I guess years of clubbing had this Sr lezzie primed for more set-ups and an a.m. stop at Denny’s. Can’t wait for the next shoot. Just hope they can keep up with me! Enjoy the slideshow and let me know your favs!

See more of Kimberley Joy Ferren’s photoart here.

From the overnight desk

Gloria Allred to dance in support of Chaz Bono
TMZ.com
Women sing praises of new insurance guidelines
Houma Courier
Wisconsin Rep. Tammy Baldwin could be first gay senator
AHN | All Headline News
Iran Executes Three Men For Having Gay Sex
The New Civil Rights Movement
Calif. Christians Rally to Change Law on Gay History
Christian Broadcasting Network
CA Supreme Court tackles gay marriage case again
San Jose Mercury News
AZ must cover gay state workers’ partners during dispute
East Valley Tribune
NC Dems to announce opposition to marrage amendment
QNotes

Google remembers Freddie Mercury

He would have been sixty-five this past weekend.

Mark’s Café Moi: So you wanna be a standup comic

Mark McNease

A fair number of us are going to find ourselves changing careers later in life, by choice or circumstance. I’ve already scoped out the Giant grocery store in New Hope, PA, near our weekend home in New Jersey. They hire old people. The gentleman who bagged our groceries a few weeks ago is blind. I figure, hey, when I’ve been downsized, outsourced, or just can’t take the cubicle life anymore, I can always clean up a spill in aisle seven.

In the meantime, I’m an executive assistant. You can tell by the photo – that’s me in my boss’s office before she was forced out after twenty-two years. Not because she’s old, we don’t do that in any way that will ever be proven in court, but because there was a regime change and hers was one of the heads that rolled. We’re still Facebook friends and she seems happier than I’ve ever known her. Wonder why.

As the editor of lgbtSr.com and a writer myself, I’m always thinking of things that might be interesting to put up here. A few months ago I went to a comedy show with my partner Frank and saw they were offering classes. That made me think of a co-worker who took a standup comedy class, and that made me think it would be a fun, if terrifying, thing to do and use as a series here. Career changes. Taking challenges. Saying, at fifty-two, that while I may not be looking for a career in front of an audience eager to hate me, I can at least try, within the supportive environment of a class, to do something I would have only fantasized about before – and then only for a minute.

My classes start next Wednesday and I’ll be writing about each one the following morning when it’s fresh in my memory. I still may make it a videoblog, but I tend to prefer writing. After all, that’s what I’ve been doing all my life in one form or another. I will, however, get a video of my performance at the end, when we all get up on stage at Caroline’s Comedy Club and do a show for invited guests. You didn’t think they’d throw us in front of a real audience, did you? If I’m true to myself it will be vulgar. Stay tuned.

Rep. Tammy Baldwin declares run, could be first out U.S. senator

The amazing Tammy Baldwin, Representative from Wisconsin (still a great state and one I know well, though fallen on tough political times) has given her supporters reason to hope. Now we go from “Run, Tammy, run!” to “Win, Tammy, win!”

Interview: Marie Pascale, General Manager for Yale University’s Food Service

By Rick Rose

Marie Pascale has spent 27 years of her life working at Yale University in food service. She is currently General Manager where she oversees a prestigious operation that services two undergraduate colleges. There’s a lot to learn from Marie whether you are looking to create a memorable meal or balance work with play as a 50+ woman, or man. Where does one even begin when feeding 1500 students, faculty, staff and visitors a day while also fighting cancer and building a relationship? lgbtSr’s Rick Rose caught up with Marie in between meals.

RR: What is it like feeding thousands of people a year?

MP: It’s extremely exciting at the beginning of the fall semester, yet very stress-provoking. We continue to strive for excellence in hospitality through always exceeding customer expectations, never becoming complacent and striving to be the best we can be at all times.

RR: Did you see yourself doing this when you were 20 years old and just out of school?

MP: No, not really. I actually thought I was going to work in a hospital as a Clinical Dietitian. My first job was in Yale New Haven Hospital in the emergency room as a registrar. That just wasn’t in the cards for me, I guess. I do have to say I get so much satisfaction out of feeding the students. I love to see people eat! It must be the Italian in me. (laughs).

RR: How has what you serve changed because of user input over the years?

MP: God, I have seen lots of changes over my 27 years at Yale. In fact, I was the first dining hall manager to test the whole concept of vegan dining at Yale. Now it is a constant, with offerings every day.

RR: Did you fee prepared to do vegan dining?

MP: Yes, I was prepared. The dietitian schooling did pay off, and I know more than enough about vegan cooking now.


What is you “recipe” for a good relationship with a lover?

MP: Wow, now that’s a recipe! I truly believe communication, respect, attraction, humor and tolerance are the main ingredients.

RR: How would you define tolerance?

MP: Learning to accept the things that I can’t change.

RR: Have you become more tolerant with age?

MP: Indeed I have, especially since my recent experience with breast cancer.

RR: What has been the biggest challenge you have faced in your career?

MP: I think that I am about to embark on the greatest challenge of my career. I was just this week given the task of opening a brand new double college dining hall with completely different concepts going on in the servery. I have to say it’s not the first one I’ve opened, but this is the most important as it is the prototype of the future of Yale Dining, and we are all excited!

RR: What chefs have most inspired you and why?

MP: All chefs inspire me. Even though I’ve been in kitchens for years it is truly amazing to me to watch chefs at work. It boggles the mind to watch them multi-task they way they do.

RR: Why the craze for food shows and whole networks devoted to it?

MP: Food is comfort. It creates a common bond between cultures.

RR: Do you think chefs should be considered as celebrities?

MP: Why not? Chefs are really hard working folks who deserve to be recognized.

RR: What was the best romantic meal you ever prepared for a partner?

MP: Let’s see. Oh, it has to be a traditional Italian dinner of pasta, with my own tomato sauce and all the trimmings. Wine, candles and of course the fireplace roaring.

RR: Does a woman always cook better than a man?

MP: I have to say I know many women that can cook their butts off. But I would have to be honest and say that gender doesn’t make the cook, it’s passion for food that creates the best cooks.

RR: How LGBT friendly is Yale University? Has it grown that way in the years you’ve been there?

MP: I think that Yale University is very LGBT friendly. Yes it has gotten increasingly more diverse since I was hired in 1984. I have never personally witnessed any discrimination. And I have never heard any hate or hateful conversations in all my years walking around the tables in the dining areas, and you know you do hear all kinds of conversations over meals!

RR: Would you prefer being a 28 year old again or are you happy where you are at 50+? And have you ever thought you’d want to be straight?

MP: Question one: Who wouldn’t want to feel 28 again?! However, I am happy where I am at this point in my life. Older and wiser. Question two: I really haven’t given that, that much thought. I am who I was meant to be.

RR: What is the last good wine you drank? Let’s see, I would have to say the American Bordeaux that my friends and I made a couple of years ago. This is the third year for wine making. I have a friend who’s uncle started the business. So when it opened we wanted to support his venture. Basically we rent the barrel, pick our wine, crush the appropriate grapes, press them then wait. It is a barrel of fun, Rick!

Cathy’s Wealth of Health: Eyes are a window to your liver health

By Cathy McNease, Herbalist

Traditional Chinese Medicine has given us a way to physically view how healthy or unhealthy is our liver via the eyes. So much information is provided to me as a practitioner by simply observing my patient’s eyes. The tongue is used in Chinese Medicine for diagnosis. The sides of the tongue tell you about liver health…pale=blood deficiency; red=heat; purple=stagnation. If your eyes are still in good condition, but you observe one of these colors on your tongue, start now to remedy the imbalance in your liver and protect your precious sense of vision. One of the beauties of tongue reading is that it empowers us to prevent diseases before they strike.

Here are some of the most important messages seen in the eyes, followed by some simple remedies:

RED EYES show heat, inflammation, or irritation.

DRY EYES show lack of body fluids, deficiency of blood or too much heat.

ITCHY EYES show allergies, and the body’s difficulty in clearing allergens. Nettle leaf, Milk thistle seed and Burdock root, all available in capsules, may be of help.

WATERY EYES show inflammation. The extra tears are made in an attempt to soothe the irritation.

STICKY YELLOW DISCHARGE shows infection. A well strained tea made from Golden Seal, Coptis or Chamomile may provide relief as an eye wash.

BLURRY VISION may be a serious eye disease, so don’t ignore this. It may also tell you that your liver is not getting the proper nourishment of colorful fruits and vegetables that it needs, leading to blood deficiency.


PAIN IN OR AROUND EYES may also be a serious disease, so don’t delay in seeing a doctor if it persists. It may also signal stagnant energy or blood.

FLOATERS (FLOATING FLECKS/SQUIGGLES IN YOUR VISION) are usually due to a deficiency of blood, unless they appear all of a sudden; that could be a serious sign that needs medical attention immediately.

DULL, LIFELESS EYES show a serious mental-emotional disorder or severe stress. Guide this person to a professional for help.

REMEDIES:

For RED, DRY, INFLAMED, IRRITATED EYES reduce the amount of spicy foods consumed, especially raw garlic, coffee, alcohol and refined foods. These all heat up the liver and irritate the eyes. Peppermint, Chrysanthemum and Mulberry leaf tea would all be helpful internally. Apply a Peppermint tea bag to closed eyes for immediate relief. Another fabulous topical is to apply slices of cool cucumber for 10-15 minutes on closed eyelids. This has been a lifesaver for me in relieving eye pain from a cornea injury I sustained decades ago from my dog’s paw. The cucumber remedy is also great after too much time staring at a computer screen.

For DEFICIENCY DISORDERS (DRYNESS, FLOATERS, and BLURRY VISION) some of the best foods will be green, orange and red fruits and vegetables. Spinach and collard greens are particularly high in the nutrients lutein and zeaxanthin which promote eye health. Carrots and sweet potatoes are rich in beta-carotene, another anti-oxidant that is important for eye health. Berries, cherries, and purple grapes are also loaded with eye nutrients. The popular Chinese food herb, Lycii berries (Gou Ji berries) are a delicious liver/blood/eye tonic. You can add them to oatmeal, trail mix or simple eat a small handful daily.

For PAIN AND OTHER STAGNATION EYE PROBLEMS one of the very best foods is Bilberry. It is related to blueberry, which is a good second choice. Bilberry is available as a jam or a juice and is used to promote blood and oxygen flow into the eyes, as well as nourish and strengthen the blood vessels. During World War II it was observed that the British pilots had phenomenal night vision and an inquiry began as to why…it was the Bilberry jam that they ate daily on their English muffins! Bilberry has been shown to reduce risks of developing glaucoma, cataracts and macular degeneration. Increase your high fiber foods (beans, whole grains, fruits and vegetables) whenever stagnant energy or blood is your challenge. And, remember, nothing will move the blood like MOVEMENT!

For DIMINISHED VISUAL ACUITY think about doing some eye exercises. In high school I was determined not to wear glasses to read the black board. So I began to use a Tibetan eye chart daily for this, which was basically an elaborate mandala. As I followed the edges of the design with my eyes, it exercised them in all directions: up/ down, left/right, and multiple diagonals. It repaired my vision significantly and I did not require glasses again until I was in my late 40’s. If your vision diminishes, consider a more nutrient dense diet to support the eyes, blood and liver.

Three of the most serious eye diseases affecting the aging population, all of which can eventually result in blindness, are glaucoma, macular degeneration and cataracts. Medical care is needed for all three; however, the progression of these diseases can be slowed down considerably with herbs and foods by nourishing the liver and improving circulation. You may also benefit from acupuncture treatments to further improve the blood flow into the eyes. My guiding principles in suggesting diet changes for these patients would be as follows:

GLAUCOMA-reduce stagnation and include foods high in beta-carotene, Vitamins C and E, and sulfur: garlic, onions, beans, spinach, celery, turnips, yellow and orange veggies, green leafy veggies, seaweed, apples, oranges and tomatoes.

MACULAR DEGENERATION-add to these bilberry, blueberry, kale and collards.

CATARACT patients will also benefit from all of the above foods, but additionally, need to be very careful with toxins in the environment, smoking and sugar in the diet. Diabetics are at a much higher risk of developing cataracts.

Similason has a line of natural eye drops from Switzerland that I have found useful. They are available at drugstores and natural foods stores, with drops for various different eye problems. They are gentle but effective. For more food, herb and supplement suggestions for eye diseases refer to the following informative resources:

~Natural Eye Care – An Encyclopedia: Complementary Treatments for Improving and Saving Your Eyes by Marc Grossman, OD, LAc. & Glen Swartwout, OD (ISBN 0-87983-704-7)

~Healing Your Eyes with Chinese Medicine by Andy Rosenfarb, LAc.
(ISBN-13:978-1-55643-662-8)

Cathy McNease is a nationally certified herbalist with a Diplomate in Chinese Herbology from the NCCAOM, a B.S. in Biology and Psychology from Western Michigan University and two Master Herbalist certificates from Emerson College of Herbology in Canada and East-West Course of Herbology in Santa Cruz.

Submission guidelines for lgbtSr now available

The following guidelines can be found on the left sidebar, under “Who We Are”:

Submission Guidelines:

We here at lgbtSr envision being a resource for the over-50 audience, a place where we can see ourselves and our interests reflected in ways we don’t often find in the media – including our own. We’re a welcoming, inviting, passionate bunch who believe in the mission of the site: to give voice to the pleasures of life in maturity; the challenges, experiences, answers we have found and the many questions we still have.

Submissions to the site are not just welcome but encouraged. Whether you’re a writer with years of experience or just someone with something you want to share, don’t be shy. Op-eds, articles, reviews, interviews and travel experiences are all up for consideration. And if you’re unsure of yourself, the editors are happy to work with you to get a piece in shape. Just send in your idea to lgbtsr@gmail.com with the subject line “SUBMISSIONS” and let’s see how it goes. All inquires will be responded to.

Some basic guidelines:

1 – Remember your audience: the over-50 LGBT reader. Preferably you’ll be in that demographic yourself, but depending on the topic we’re certainly open to hearing from those who aren’t. We’ve all experienced enough exclusion of one kind or another, you won’t find it here.


2 – Length: remember the 800-word rule. If it’s over 800 words it needs to be cut or the editors will cut it for you.

3 – Perspective: While loss and sorrow are woven into every life, upbeat is part of what we’re about. We’re not dead yet! That’s one of the reasons the site was founded, because many of us find our voices gone silent in the media. We’re subjected too often to stories of age’s horrors, inevitably written by someone in their 20s. Live with gusto, that’s our motto. But don’t hesitate to be honest. Anyone over 50 has the AIDS plague as part of our history and we don’t want to be silent here about anything.

4 – Topic: As mentioned in the introduction, pretty much any topic is open for consideration. Is there an event in your town or city you want to highlight? Please do! Traveled to a city or village you want to share? Please do! Have a friend or neighbor you’d like to interview? Absolutely.

If we accomplish our mission, you’ll come to see lgbtSr.com as your site, where you’ll hear and see yourself and where you’ll want to tell your friends to come on in, the water’s fine, the breeze is cool and the grass feels wonderful under your feet.

Mark McNease/Rick Rose and the crew at lgbtSr.com
lgbtsr@gmail.com