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From Baby Butch to Curmudgeon

In leather and lace-up boots 1971By Sue Katz

I was asked by Bi Women Quarterly to write a letter to LGBT people under 40 and I came up with this curmudgeonly piece. The daring Mark McNease thought the readers of lgbtsr.org might be interested in reading it. It has been lightly edited since its original publication.

Dear Queers under 40,

I was a baby butch in the days when being caught with my high school girlfriend led to threats of incarceration and electroshock. In fact, she nearly succeeded in killing herself and I was forced to undergo therapy with a pig who wanted to know, over and over, what I did to her and what she did to me. She and I were separated, forbidden to meet. It was 1964.

I was a baby butch when the law required that you wear at least three pieces of clothing suitable to your own sex, so our motorcycle jackets and ties and cuff links were all threats to our very freedom.

I was a baby butch decades before there was an internet, when we not infrequently met our lovers by flirting with the other women standing in the line to the bathroom at the bar.

I knew women who passed by binding their breasts and lowering their voices, because they needed the higher-paying jobs from which women were excluded in order to support themselves and perhaps their girlfriends. There were lots of children around in those days too, for many gay people straight-married and built nuclear families before they found out why they felt the way they felt. Or found someone else to feel it with.


Marriage Equality Sweeps the Nation – What is Really Changing?

Dave HughesBy Dave Hughes, RetireFabulously.com

October 17, 2014 was a very special day – one I have been anticipating for years. At times, it seemed like it might never arrive. Even now, the full effect is still sinking in.

As of October 17, my husband Jeff and I are fully legally married in Arizona, the state we call home.

We held a ceremonial wedding for family and friends in Mesa, Arizona, on August 13, 2005. Five days later, we got legally married in Vancouver, British Columbia. At the time, Massachusetts was the only state in the U.S. in which same-sex couples had the right to marry.

Back then, we were considering moving to Canada, so we traveled to Vancouver not only to get married but also to evaluate the city out as a potential place to live.

Back in 2005, things weren’t looking good in the U.S. The previous year, many states passed constitutional amendments banning same-sex marriage. George Bush won re-election, and it looked like the economy and the terrorist threat would continue to get worse. Plus, we liked the idea of living in a place where we would be legally married. Leaving the U.S. was an idea that had merit.


Read All About It: A News Sampler from Around the Web


HRC Endorses PrEP & Calls for Bold Action
Human Rights Campaign
Health research project targets gay women
Illawarra Mercury
James Wharton: The former Guard now fighting discrimination against gay soldiers
The Independent
Seattle Mormon leaders to gays: You are valued — worship with us
Salt Lake Tribune (blog)
Is the Christian Music Industry Softening on Gays?
Daily Beast
Aging Boomers Dying To Recapture Sixties Sentiment
Aging parents and The Guilt
Daytona Beach News-Journal
How Exercise Reverses Aging
Fitness Goop
Man flu is real: Scientists say men have weaker immune systems
The Independent

Side Dish with Mark and Rick on the Aged to Perfection Podcast

AbFinalSideDishLogoIt must be Monday. Welcome to another Side Dish edition of our Aged to Perfection podcast. Rick Rose and I have been close friends for 25 years. We’ve worked together in the theater in Los Angeles, and co-created the Emmy-winning children’s television program Into the Outdoors. Rick has also been a contributor to lgbtSr.org and my longtime co-host of the Aged to Perfection podcast. And now? We’re doing this weekly edition where we take a look at the news, catch up with a world that’s always on the run, and have some fun with our morning coffee.

This week on the Side Dish: America’s czar craze, the Texas voter ID law stands (just bring your gun license to the polling station), a snail named Same-Sex Marriage, starting over in life (and over and over), and Brittany Maynard’s eloquent exit strategy.

HRC Reacts to Removal of LGBT-Inclusive Language in Synod Report

240px-HRC_logoFrom HCR Blog:

Today, HRC criticized the decision by the Extraordinary Synod of Bishops to eliminate language that was inclusive and supportive of LGBT Catholics from the conference’s final report.

“Once more members of the hierarchy of the Roman Catholic Church have erred on the side of hypocrisy and fear,” said Lisbeth Meléndez Rivera, HRC Foundation’s Director of Latino/a and Catholic Initiatives.  “The deeply entrenched anti-LGBT forces within the Church prevailed, ignoring Pope Francis’ message of inclusion and respect, and fundamentally rejecting the voices and lives of LGBT Catholics.”

A preliminary version of the report, which was made public just days ago, asserted that LGBT people have “gifts and talents to offer the Christian community,” and, for the first time, referred to LGBT couples as “partners” instead of sinners.  The interim report also stated that while the Church did not view gay unions as on the “same footing as matrimony between a man and a woman,” it went on to say that “[w]ithout denying the moral problems connected to homosexual unions it has to be noted that there are cases in which mutual aid to the point of sacrifice constitutes a precious support in the life of the partners.”  That language was not included in the final report released today, an indication that those provisions failed to garner the two-thirds support of those who were eligible to vote on the document.

Jimmy Kimmel: Say No to Gay Divorce! (video)

From the YouTube description:

If same sex marriage isn’t legal in your state, neither is same sex divorce. Unless you go file papers in a state where gay marriage is legal, you have to stay married. This poses an interesting dilemma: Can you be opposed to same sex marriage and also be opposed to same sex divorce? The answer, at least from this political action committee, is yes.

Medium Jeff McKeehan Joins the Aged to Perfection Podcast

Once touched, never forgotten; never forgotten, always touched.”  – Greeting and farewell used by Jeff McKeehan’s spirit guide, Charles.

Jeff-headshotI’m joined on this week’s Aged to Perfection podcast by Jeff McKeehan, medium and intuitive reader. Jeff lives near Phoenix, AZ, and has been a practicing medium for over 20 years. We speak about Jeff’s earliest experiences with his abilities, beginning as a child, his life’s journey and his decision to use his talents full-time. You can read more about Jeff at his website JeffTheMedium.com. Thanks, too, to Dave Hughes from RetireFabulously.com for introducing us!

Retirement – The First Nine Months

Dave HughesBy Dave Hughes, RetireFabulously.com

I’ve been retired for nine months now. In some ways, the time has flown by. In other ways, work is now a distant memory.

I’m often asked by friends, “How’s retirement?” My answer is always “Great!” And overall, it is.

During retirement I’ve had happy, blissful days and I’ve had depressing, frustrating days – much the same as any other phase of life.

Here are five things I’ve learned about being retired, followed by three key takeaways for you.

1. I don’t miss work

I certainly don’t miss the deadlines, the performance reviews, the office politics, the noisy cubicles, or anything else.

I knew that most of my work friendships would fall away quickly, and they did. The only thing I had in common with most of my work friends was that we worked together. Our primary communication channels were work-based systems (email, calendars, etc.) and I became disconnected from all those systems when I left.

I do, however, miss the paycheck.


Read All About It: A News Sampler from Around the Web

newsboyWorld Bank criticized for ‘ignoring’ LGBT issues
Washington Blade
Stress is killing women’s life advantage
New Zealand Herald
We Must Not Ignore the Troubling Truth About LGBT Rights in Muslim Countries
The New Republic
Why America changed its mind on gay marriage
Showdown over Texas gay marriage ban still weeks away
Dallas Morning News (blog)
The Vatican, gays and the family
The Economist (blog)
The Best Way to “Come Out” to Coworkers and Bosses
Gay Republican House Candidate DeMaio Hasn’t Won Fans In LGBT Community
Public Radio East
Treating menopausal symptoms: What you need to know
Washington Post