Retirement is Like a Buffet. Will You Stuff Yourself or Starve?

Dave HughesBy Dave Hughes,

There’s a buffet restaurant a few miles from our home called Pacific Seafood Buffet. Most of the food is Asian, and the primary draw for us is all the sushi we care to eat for one price. Of course, there are a lot of other good dishes there too: tempura vegetables, shrimp, crab cakes, and many things you typically find at Asian buffets. And there’s green tea ice cream for dessert!

The lunch price is very reasonable, so we go every couple of months. (If we went more often, we would be huge.) Overall, I stay away from buffets because they are invitations to overeat. Our visits to Pacific Seafood Buffet are no exception; often, on the drive home, we realize that we have probably eaten too much.

At a buffet, there’s so much to choose from that you can’t possibly eat everything. You may enjoy many of the foods on the buffet, but if you overeat you end up feeling so stuffed that you feel sick or uncomfortable. That diminishes the enjoyment from what was supposed to be a pleasurable experience.

The solution, of course, is to accept the fact that you won’t be able to eat everything you want today. You’ll have to leave some things for another day. But that’s okay – you can come back another day and eat different things. There will always be buffets.


Transgender Footprints in the Sand

StephanieMottBy Stephanie Mott

I don’t really see myself as a Christian. I see myself as someone who tries to live – on a daily basis – to the best of my ability – according to the teachings and example of Christ.

You know what I mean. Love my neighbor. Love my enemy. Do not judge. Forgive in the way I hope to be forgiven. Give all I possess to the poor.

I don’t see my life as a journey of these ideals. I see my life as a journey toward them – ever seeking to become more able to touch them – never able to completely achieve them – but never wanting to stop trying to get closer than I was able to be in the days or weeks before.

2015loveOn Valentine’s Day, I added a heart pendant to the necklace I wear every day that already had a cross on it. The image of the heart together with the cross made a statement to me about what it means to me to try to live according to Christian values. Without the love, it isn’t really what I hope it to be.

One does not need to identify as a Christian to embrace love. Love is a way of living, not a religious belief. But I can’t see how I could identify with Christian values without devoting myself to learning to embrace the love.

Of course, I mostly fail to live up to these challenges. The good news is that my humanness is expected and forgiven. The God of my understanding knows that I am human – created me as human.


Featured Book: Businessman First by Maurice W. Dorsey

51fobgfz4hL._SY344_BO1,204,203,200_Author Maurice W. Dorsey has just been nominated for a QBR Wheatley Book Award for Businessman First, his biography of Henry G. Parks, Jr.

I had the pleasure of meeting author Maurice Dorsey at this year’s Rainbow Book Fair – he was at the booth next to mine. His book, Businessman First, tells the story of Henry G. Parks, Jr., a successful African-American businessman. Maurice was as nice and engaging as his book is fascinating – a story that both needed to be told, and that Dorsey promised to tell. He has, in spectacular fashion.

From the book’s description:

More than his ad “More Parks Sausages Mom, please” Henry G. Parks, Jr. was a man before his time. Pioneering in the American free enterprise system he embarked on a journey leading to a multi-million dollar industry. After many endeavors in business, The H.G. Parks, Inc. trading as Parks Sausage became a reality in 1951. With strong aggressive leadership, brilliant marketing and advertising, Mr. Parks built a business that never posted a losing year under his ownership. Park’s Sausage was the first African American owned business to issue stock publicly. Mr. Park’s success caught the attention of some of the leading corporate boards in this country along with national organizations, city, state, and federal leaders. They sought to bring him aboard to share his knowledge, leadership skills, and ability with other leading American business, government and non-profit leaders. This is the story of a businessman who was African American and was optimistic and determined while achieving ultimate success.

About Maurice W. Dorsey:

Maurice W. Dorsey graduated as the only African American in his class at the Bel Air Senior High School, Bel Air, Maryland, in 1965. He earned a bachelor of science degree in home economics from the University of Maryland, College Park, in 1970. He then earned a master’s degree in liberal arts from the Johns Hopkins University in 1975 and earned a second master’s degree in education from the Loyola College of Maryland in 1976. He returned to the University of Maryland to earn a PhD in education in 1985. He has worked in both the public and private sectors, finding his career in secondary education, higher education, and government. He retired from the United States Department of Agriculture National Institute of Food and Agriculture in 2012. Businessman First: Remembering Henry G. Parks (1916 to 1989); Capturing the Life of a Businessman Who Was African American; An Authorized Biography is his first book. He resides in Washington, DC.

The Savvy Senior: How to Find and Choose a New Doctor

By Jim Miller

Dear Savvy Senior,
What resources can you recommend to help me find and research some doctors in my area? I’m looking for a good primary care doctor or internist for my elderly parents, and need to locate a good orthopedic doctor for me.
Shopping for Doctors

Dear Shopping,
Thanks to the Internet, finding and researching doctors is a lot easier than it use to be. Today, there’s a wide variety of websites you can turn to that provide databases of U.S. doctors, their professional medical histories, and ratings and reviews from past patients on a number of criteria. Here are some of the best sites available, along with a few additional tips that can help you find the right doctors.

Locating Tips

To help you locate some doctors in your area, a good first step, and one that doesn’t require a computer, is to ask for a referral. Contact some other doctors, nurses, or health care professionals that you know, for some names of doctors or practices that they like and trust.


Call for Submissions: LGBT Writers, Poets, Artists, Cartoonists 50+

call-for-submissions copyWe’re in our fifth year now at lgbtSr, embracing age and celebrating life. One of the things we enjoy most is sharing the creative expressions of LGBTQ people over 50, and it’s time once again to issue a call for submissions. If you’re a writer, artist, photographer, poet or cartoonist, we’d love to share your art with:

4,100 Facebook fans
240 weekly email subscribers
600+ unique visitors a week

If you’d like to be featured here at lgbtSr, just send an email to Mark at Editor @ We’d love to share your short story, essay, poem, artwork, cartoon, or other printable form of self-expression. All submissions will be responded to. And don’t worry, you don’t need a resume or a track record of publication, just a passion and a desire to share it.

Mark McNease/Editor

Book Review: Corruption Officer by Gary L. Heyward

Corruption Officer-2By The Bookworm Sez
Terri Schlichenmeyer

“Corruption Officer” by Gary L. Heyward
c.2015, Atria   $16.00 / $18.99 Canada 276 pages

Sometimes, you have to choose sides.

Republican or Democrat? For something, or against it? Grateful for what you have or irritated by what you don’t? And you want fries with that?

Sometimes you choose your sides, and sometimes they’re chosen for you. And in the new book “Corruption Officer” by Gary L. Heyward, the preferred option is outside.

“Big Hey” had “the shakes.”

Evenings, he spent almost all his paycheck shaking dice, winning some nights and some nights, not. He still lived with his Moms because of that, which was shameful – he was 29 years old, a Gulf War veteran – but, though a good friend urged him to job-search, Heyward figured that better employment was out of reach.


Events: Summit on LGBT Aging June 13 (Dallas)

Date: Saturday, June 13
Location: Senior Source
3910 Harry Hines Blvd.

For Details:

Join us for this significant initial summit by the Coalition for Aging, LGBT (DFW) to explore the vast needs and services for members of the aging LGBT community in Dallas-Ft. Worth.

According to the latest 2010 US Census, there is an estimated 60,000+ members of the LGBT community living in Dallas County ages 45 to 90+. Also according to the census, 27% of all people ages 65+ are living alone. Currently there is no single organization addressing and coordinating the specific aging needs of the LGBT Community in Dallas. There are many programs developed for non-LGBT citizens, however access to these programs for LGBT citizens is a challenge due to possible discrimination or LGBT citizens unable (or unwilling) to not live their lives according to their orientation – basically going back into the closet.

Objectives of the Summit and What You Can Expect:

  • Bring together the DFW LGBT community for conversation around the topic of aging,
    Understanding the size of the problem/call to action,
  • Various services/organizations already in existence that could become part of the Coalition,
  • Listen to the individual needs and the personal stories through facilitated breakout sessions,
  • Draw from the participants through the breakout sessions on “next steps” and priorities to drive the Coalition,
  • To have an enjoyable time with members of the community around such an important topic.

Featured Poem: Hello, I’m Here by Larry Buffington

Digital CameraBy Larry Buffington

Doesn’t anyone hear me
or see me anymore?
What happened?
Did time weave some ghostly web around me?
When did I become invisible
on the street, in the market, the theatre, the bar, the restaurant, the metro?
Do I frighten you?
Mirror of lost youth.
No more flirtations.
No more lovers knocking at the door.
No more vanity to flaunt.
No more future to mock.
No more of everything that youth brings
and blinds us to.

I am not my face.
I am not my body.
Many lakes and rivers have flowed into me.
I am now an ocean of many nights and days.
This is the best of me.
Not a shell of yesterday.
Don’t toss me away
for the green fruit of youth
My mind is ripe with life to share


Larry Buffington is a freelance writer and poet living and writing in Miami Beach, striving daily to stay connected with the spirit of youth.

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